Be Careful What You Don't Wish For Because You Just Might Get It

Some of you may be wondering why a move to a neighboring state is such a big deal. I'll tell you why. I grew up in the same house all my life and always found such comfort in that. So many memories in the walls of that house and in every inch of grass and flowers outside. Then I moved to Ogden to go to school, a whole hour away! After marriage, Ogden became our permanent home. In total, I lived there for ten years, and it became so near and dear to all our hearts, mostly because of the people there that we love so much.

I've never loved change (but then again, who does?), so when Joel and I would talk about moving out of state it's surprising that I was for it. Deep down I knew that once his parents came home from their mission our life would take a huge turn. And although I knew moving would be way out of my comfort zone, I knew it would also be very good for me in many ways.

That being said, I distinctly remember saying once to Joel that there is one place I will never live- Arizona. Ha! I better watch what I say from now on! I'll never forget the day he called from work telling me he had a job offer in Arizona and would I be willing to move there. We knew an offer would be coming for some place out of state, but when Arizona was the offer my reaction was a very disappointed, "Really?" I was not happy at first! Hadn't I already said NO to that prospect?! It's so blasted hot, which also meant in my mind that it's ugly. I grew up with pine trees and majestic mountains and snow. Down there it's cactus and dirt. Plus, it's 14 hours away from everyone I love! Now that moving away was actually upon us, the idea wasn't sounding so good after all. In short, I was scared! We prayed about it, and honestly, I felt like I was too scared to be a good judge of the answer the Lord was giving me. But I did know the thought of not going felt wrong, so that was it. The more I thought about it, the more okay with it I became, and as we tried to get the kids excited about it (one night we watched the old coyote and roadrunner cartoons because we told Noah there are roadrunners in AZ) the more excited I got too. The hardest part was telling everyone. Many of you were not happy with us! But it was so comforting to hear such positive things from people who have lived here!

There are a lot more reasons why this move was scary, most of them totally normal and involving leaving the familiar and entering a completely new place, but those are also the reasons this adventure is good for me. I did feel a lot more comfort and excitement when I got to fly down here to help Joel find a place. I was pleasantly surprised! I actually LOVE the cactus and there are actually trees here and flowers too! And the rock landscaping they do here is beautiful. I've been given an opportunity to see that there are more kinds of beauty than mountains and pine trees. After all, God created this world and He doesn't make mistakes.

Leaving all the people we love was definitely the hardest part of all this. In the days leading up to our move, I tried to remain in denial about it or else I'd be in tears 24/7. So, sorry if I ever seemed cold when we said our goodbyes. I had to put a wall up so I could stay emotionally intact. I'm more grateful than ever for cars and airplanes and cell phones and internet. I don't feel quite as distant from you as I actually am.

The year 2011 proved to be a year full of hard things for me, and moving to Arizona was definitely one of them. But with all the hard things I've had to do this year I know the Lord is molding me into something more. Sometimes that molding really hurts, though! But, I guess a little pain never hurt nobody.

P.S. I have a new saying. You know the popular "I Can Do Hard Things"? I added something to it for me: "I Can Do Hard Things but not very well" That's how I felt A LOT this year. Hopefully I get an A for effort.

P.S.2 Here's to 2012 being more simple!